Where Do I Fit Now?

When I became a parent, I started going to a lot of mom and baby programs. I met a lot of moms this way, some of whom I am still friends with today, and because I had worked with kids for decades before becoming a mom, I became the mom people asked advice from.

I became a Positive Parent, a Gentle Parent, an exclusively breastfeeding parent (which I didn’t plan on at first), a cloth diapering parent, an avid baby-wearer… My husband called me “hippy-ish”.

Being there for other moms became my thing.

• Reassuring them that night waking is normal and completely sucks but won’t last forever. It’s truly a small window of time in the grand scheme of life.
• Sharing resources and information about what is normal for breastfed babies. There is so much misinformation out there, even within the medical community, the rate of moms who want to breastfeed and do so successfully is so much lower than it needs to be.
• Assuring them that the most important way to feed their baby is the way that helps them bond with their baby, whether that is breastfeeding exclusively or part time, exclusively pumping or strictly formula feeding.
  If your baby is growing and you are both happy, then you’re choosing what’s best!
• Reminding moms to be gentle with themselves because they just grew a human. The housework actually can wait. Snuggle. Nap. Eat. Take help offered. Get out of the house and care not what you or your house looks like.
• Encouraging them to make the most of their time with their newborns. There is so much pressure to get babies to sleep through the night or for moms to have an immaculate house or for babies not to be used to being held all the time… I’m a big advocate for holding those babies. You will not spoil them, they will not sleep in your bed or on your chest forever.
  They are small for such a short, short part of your life, ENJOY it.
  Be Present!
• Wear those babies. Keep them close, feeling secure and safe, while you get to use two hands! “Finding the right carrier is like finding the right pair of jeans; what fits your best friend best is not what will fit best for you” (as my friend Meaghen always said). Try things out, see what works, and then wear those babies… and toddlers…. and preschoolers! (I still wear my Last Born AND Middle Child sometimes!
  I always keep a carrier in the car!)

And then…

Well, then all of our kids grew, and we all grew as parents, and suddenly my input wasn’t needed so much anymore.

I started to feel lost, isolated even.

I thrive on helping others, finding articles and resources that they needed to help them feel more confident and secure in their choices.
Helping them make informed decisions that also made them feel empowered.

And now, nobody is asking anymore.
And I don’t know where I fit anymore.

Even in the homeschooling community, there are so many with more experience, more resources, more structure, which is what most people new to homeschooling want.

I went from being the one everyone went to, to being just another mom.

So now

I know I’m not the first one who has gone through a transition period like this, and I know there will be something else that comes along. 

But for right now, I’m a little bit in limbo and it’s not my favorite feeling. 

I like to feel needed, wanted, helpful, and by people other than the humans I grew myself.