A long time ago, when I was just nine months old, my parents got a nine month old mixed breed puppy named Sara. She was my best friend, sleeping under my crib and welcoming me home from school, following me to my friends house and waiting for me to walk me home. She got sick when I was 8 years old and died quickly and unexpectedly at an overnight observation at the vet.
I was heartbroken.
For years I begged my parents to get me another puppy, but puppies are a lot of work and to this day (32 years later) they still have never gotten another dog. But me, well because my Sara was so special to me, I’ve always loved dogs and couldn’t wait to have one of my own again some day.
I used to take the little girl I nannied to the pet store in New Minas, and one day we saw a litter of Puggle Puppies. They were the cutest little puppies I had ever seen and I instantly fell in love, day dreaming of the day I would have my own Penny the Puggle. (I had already named her, of course.)
About a year later, I had the urge to look for a dog to adopt. I was browsing through Kijiji and there was this six month old puggle named Cody. His family was just too busy for him and weren’t able to give him the time and attention they felt he deserved. I emailed them, and because I was single, and I lived in a farm house apartment with lots of space and lots of time to be with him, they chose me to adopt him.
I changed his name to Odie and we worked hard to train him to be a little less wild. I was so lucky, I was able to even take him to work with me as a nanny, and he was able to play with their family dogs. We had lots of adventures from hikes on trails to nights at the ball field, we went camping and had sleepovers. I taught him to play fetch and wait for his food, to come when he was called (unless he saw a squirrel, just ask that poor propane truck driver) and to only jump up on the couch and bed when invited.
Snuggles with Mom after being tossed around by a propane truck while chasing a squirrel - 2009
Later that year, I met my (now) husband, and I packed up my 10 year old cat, my 1.5 year old puggle, and my life into a box or two and off we moved to Ontario from Nova Scotia. Odie went with the flow. He had a fenced in yard and a Mom who went from working three jobs to being home all the time. He was happy. But boy, did he ever hate being left home alone once I started working again.
We got married a year and a half later and the only “person” in our wedding was Odie. He was the ring bearer, holding our wedding rings in a special home made tuxedo collar pouch.
He was the best boy.
We welcomed our first baby the following year and Odie was not one bit jealous. He still wanted attention and snuggles and love, but he would proudly stand next to that baby and watch over him. Later, he would lay there while that toddler would crawl in beside him in his little doggy bed. And later still, he would crawl up on that toddlers lap on his little toddler chair for a snuggle.
He was the best boy.
Then we moved and welcomed another baby. And Odie just went with it. He didn’t get jealous, he didn’t get more needy, he just adored all the love and snuggles when he got them and he was the best playmate for our first when our second needed Momma more.
He was the best boy.
Waiting patiently for First Born to clean up a mess of his food so he can eat it. Then waiting patiently for Last Born to do the same.
Our third baby came along and Odie was a little more tired by then.
He didn’t play and chase as much, he didn’t love being crawled on anymore, and boy did it ever get louder in the house.
Three kids had invaded his family in less than five years…
But still, he loved them and snuggled them and protected them from all the knocks on the door and the doorbell rings.
He was the best boy.
One more move and Odie started to feel his 10 years of age.
Suddenly he didn’t like it at all when the kids ran through the house, and he’d bark at all the noises whether they were people coming to the house, sounds on the tv or trucks driving by outside.
He had to spend more time in his kennel than he used to because it made him feel safe.
But he still protected us, and he still loved those quiet snuggles in my bed after the kids were asleep and the house was quiet.
He was a good boy.
We got a kitten, and it took some time, but they became buddies.
Unfortunately our buddy Tux didn’t come home one day.
Another kitten came and went (back to her original home), and then we fostered an older cat for a few months until she found the right home. Odie just went with it.
As long as he got his snuggles and food, he was a happy puggle.
Such a good boy.
There was lip fold infection, however, that wouldn’t go away, despite three rounds of antibiotics and daily prescription mouth wash. And legs that hurt when he laid down, and got up, and went up the stairs and down the stairs.
His wasn’t really able to control his bodily functions anymore, and the feeling of anxiety that made him bark at everything (and nothing) was hard on him and his family.
And then he started really nipping at the kids, which was scary for them and me. So we started to think it was time.
But then he’d have better days, and he’d hold his “goes” and he was tolerant of the kids, and the sounds, and the mouth cleanings.
His energy would come back and we’d say “Oh, he’s ok now. We’ll wait.”
This went on for six months, and one last Christmas trip to Nova Scotia.
But still, he was a good boy.
He held on long enough for us to adopt a rescue pup, and she brought out the puppy in him. They played tug and they chased and they laid together in bed at the end of the day when the house was finally quiet. But still, a new little sister wasn’t enough to heal all that ailed him.
Still he hurt, he ached, he snapped…. at the kids, at the pup… and finally now even at me.
And still, he was my sweet boy
I know it’s not your fault, Odie.
I know you hurt.
Your body doesn’t feel good anymore and it’s hard to be patient when you feel so bad.
I wish so much that I didn’t have to choose.
I wish so much that your body would just stop hurting and you could go peacefully in your sleep.
I wish so much that you could be put down here at home with your family and the people you love, the people you’ve protected and trusted, surrounding you with snuggles and kissed and love.
I wish so much…
because you are the best boy.
And I don’t want to say goodbye.
I don’t want to let you go.
I waited so long to have you.
You have been by my side for more than 11 years now.
And it’s not enough.
But I don't think it could ever be enough.
Tonight, First Born sat here with you and cried, telling you how much he wants you to stay.
Wishing you could stay longer.
Wishing he could build a machine to make you a puppy again.
Or wishing for a portal for you to come back and visit.
Telling you he hopes he will see you in Doggy Heaven some day.
Thanking you for all the time you’ve spent together.
Thanking you for being the best boy a boy could have.
And you truly were.
The best boy.
I’m still not ready.
Six months of not being sure.
Now I’m sure…
but I’m still not ready.
Thank you, Odie Reg.
Thank you for being my best first boy.
You have been so loved and we will love you forever.
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