When you’re a parent to little people, whether it’s one or three or six, it’s a big adjustment. You go from having all of the space as your own, or yours to share with your spouse, and suddenly there is so much stuff!
Babies
The amount of things we buy in anticipation of our babies is incredible. The list of things we think we need (or what others think we need and gift to us) is so, so long.
And the amount of time babies use said stuff is so, so short.
Think matching crib sets, bumbo chairs, exersaucers, jolly jumpers, high chairs, play pens, bassinets, outfits and baby blankets and pacifiers… the list goes on and on and on, and it’s overwhelming.
Add in the lack of sleep plus the amount of time spent sitting and feeding said baby, the laundry that goes with baby diaper blowouts and spit-ups (for you and your baby), as well as the hormones that change inside you making you feel all the feelings times one thousand, and it will often feel like your house threw up and there’s no time or energy to deal with it so you might as well just give up and sit down and cry.
And you know what?
It’s totally okay if you do!
So many moms try to make everything perfect, or at least look perfect.
Making sure baby sleeps at much as possible through the night while trying to have the house always neat and tidy, all while making homemade meals and being sure the dishes are always clean, and taking care of yourself by being showered and dressed in clean clothes every single day.
Before we have babies, it was pretty simple to do that. I mean, it’s expected and the norm. And for some reason, after we have babies, we try to keep life to the same standards. I’m not sure how where we learned along the way that this is how it should be. It’s so much pressure and it makes us feel like failures when we can’t achieve it.
And I know I couldn’t achieve it.
I just wanted to sit and stare at this new human I had just grown.
I didn’t want to miss a moment, so something had to give, right?
It's Ok, it won't be forever... promise!
One thing I learned as a new mom, as I think many of us do, is that it is near impossible to look and act perfect and still be happy and enjoy our time with our new baby. If you are one of those moms who can do it all and feel relaxed and happy, I commend you. Truly I do. I am not one of those moms
The More You Have
The more children you have, the less it seems like a tidy and clean house is an attainable goal.
There is always laundry and food and toys all over the house, no matter how much you redirect them or enforce “the rules”, it still happens somehow. They get playing with things and their imaginations take them somewhere else, which is amazing but exhausting because that means the mess spreads to all the other rooms too.
The floors are always dirty and it feels like five minutes after you take the time to vacuum and wash them, something gets spilled or someone walks in with muddy boots or someone grabs a craft from the shelf and suddenly you wonder why you even bothered.
Nobody even got to see it clean.
Don’t even get me started on the bathroom sink and counter.
Every single day I wipe it clean at bedtime and yet by breakfast the next day, it looks like I haven’t cleaned it in months.
It feels like a never ending battle but I promise, it will get easier.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel of messiness.
The children will get a bit older and will start to be able to pick up after themselves. Mind you, I’ve been of the mindset that if they can take things off of the shelves, they can put them on so we start self tidying before they even turn a year. That doesn’t mean they always self tidy… they rarely self tidy, but they know how to tidy at least.
We are currently in the phase where we finally don’t need to have everything all over the house. Each of my children are old enough to put things away when they’re finished with it (or when they’re reminded that they’re finished with it but it’s still out).
Something that I’ve found super helpful is having less stuff.
We recently spent four hours tidying up our playroom, getting rid of all of the things they no longer play with. T
he older they get, it seems the less they play with.
And between birthdays and holidays and gifts from others, it’s so easy to accumulate stuff they don’t really use or only use a few times.
The more they have, the harder it is to keep things tidy.
Now, we are far from minimalists (just ask my husband) but we are trying to let go of the things we don’t use rather than keep everything simply because someone we love gave it to us.
It feels so good to walk into a room that isn’t littered with stuff. It’s still a constant work in progress because they are so little, but it feels so good.
Before and after of our most recent playroom purge.
And One Day Still
Even though I’m not anywhere close to it, and I’m not ready for it, there will come a time when these children will not even be in the house anymore.
The day will come again when you will put somewhere and it will stay in that place. You will not see pieces of toys and clothes and food and tiny little garbage strewn about the house.
It will be blissful and sad at the same time.
I already know how much I will miss these days because, even though the mess seems never ending and I feel like no matter what I do, I can’t keep up, one day it will be gone and that will mean my babies are grown and gone too.
When that day comes, I will miss these days so, so much.
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